Divorce From Afar: A Legal and Emotional Guide for Nigerians in Diaspora

INTRODUCTION

The end of a marriage is never an easy chapter to close. For many Nigerians in the diaspora, the situation is even more distressing. You’re thousands of miles away from Nigeria, emotionally and legally done with your partner, but still tied down by a marriage certificate issued under the Matrimonial Causes Act. What’s worse? You don’t know how to cut the rope without draining your finances or mental energy.

This article addresses this challenge head-on — offering both legal clarity and emotional support to Nigerians abroad who seek a lawful, dignified end to a marriage that no longer works.

THE TRADITIONAL DISSOLUTION vs. LEGAL FINALITY

In many Nigerian cultures, once the bride price or dowry is returned, the marriage is deemed dissolved traditionally. While this may suffice socially, the law demands more. Under the Matrimonial Causes Act (Cap M7, LFN 2004), no marriage under the Marriage Act can be legally said to have ended until a court pronounces a Decree Absolute.

So, the question is not whether the parties have moved on emotionally or whether the bride price has been returned — the real question is, has the court dissolved the marriage? Until the answer is yes, the law still considers the couple legally married.

What If Both Parties Want Out — But the Wife is Abroad?

This is where strategy matters.

Let’s consider a very relatable scenario:

The husband, residing in Nigeria, has returned the bride price and considers the marriage over. He does not contest the dissolution but does not want to appear in court.

The wife, living in Canada, cannot afford the emotional and financial toll of travelling back to Nigeria for a court appearance. What can she do?

A LEGAL LIFELINE : MOTION TO DISPENSE WITH PETITIONER’S APPEARANCE

In an uncontested divorce where both parties agree to end the marriage, the petitioner (in this case, the wife) can engage a Nigerian-based lawyer to file a motion to dispense with her appearance. This is provided under the Matrimonial Causes Act and supported by judicial discretion, where all necessary affidavits and documents are before the court.

By deposing to an affidavit abroad — preferably at a Nigerian embassy or high commission — and sending it to her lawyer, the petitioner can effectively participate in the divorce process without setting foot in Nigeria.

UNDEFENDED LIST: A FAST-TRACK PATH

Once the Respondent signs an Affidavit of Non-Contest, the matter can be listed under the undefended divorce cause list, allowing for speed and reduced complexity. This not only fast-tracks the hearing but also limits delays arising from interlocutory objections or adjournments.

However, the wife must be ready to shoulder both her own legal costs and possibly that of the husband’s disposition — since he’s willing to cooperate but not invested in the process.

CAN YOU AFFORD THIS? THE HONEST QUESTION

The entire cost of an uncontested, diaspora-managed divorce in Nigeria — including court fees, affidavits, courier costs, lawyer’s professional fees, and motion draughting — may hover between ₦2,250,000 and ₦3,350,000 or roughly £1,300. Compared to the emotional drain and indefinite limbo of remaining “married” on paper, this is a wise investment in your peace of mind.

TO NIGERIANS IN DIASPORA: THIS IS FOR YOU

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of Nigerians in Canada, the UK, the US, and Europe — tired, emotionally spent, and unsure how to navigate the end of their Nigerian marriage. They scroll through social media hoping for a “quick fix” yet ignore the one call that might change everything: call your lawyer.

Yes, the system is slow. Yes, you feel abandoned. But the first step to liberation is information — and a competent lawyer determined to hold your brief is your best chance at a dignified exit.

WAKE UP , GRIEVED COUPLES — FACE REALITY

It’s time to stop hiding behind trauma and start confronting reality. The role of a lawyer is not that of a therapist or counsellor, though empathy should not be lacking. Still, perception is not always reality. You may feel that your lawyer doesn’t understand you, but your hurt may be clouding your judgment.

Take a moment to look at things objectively. If your lawyer is pushing you to depose an affidavit, draft a petition, or pay filing fees — they are not taking sides. They are acting professionally and lawfully. Your past hurt should not delay your freedom.

CONCLUSION: THE COURAGE TO END WELL

Divorce is not just a legal event — it is an emotional milestone. For Nigerians abroad who feel stuck in a dead marriage, there is a way forward. It may not be instantaneous, but it is strategic, affordable, and lawful.

Consult your lawyer. Trust the process. Prepare your documents. And walk away — not just emotionally, but legally.

Ujah Israel Ujah Esq. B/Phil, LLB, LLM (Ph.D. in v) is a legal practitioner and lead counsel at HENI Attorneys & Consultancy, Abuja. He specialises in family law, diaspora representation, and human rights litigation. He is passionate about justice, legal reform, and giving voice to the unheard. He can be reached via 07034651322

Source: BarristerNG